Lyricals

Yes, I feel emphatic about not being static
And not buying philosophies that are sold to me, at a steal

Hiatus

I've discovered there is no such thing as reading once the summer holidays start. Pity really. A big part of it actually has to deal with some personal issues concerning the topic of the readings but those are things that I believe will level out with time.

Until then, I figure it would be good to find some way to journal thoughts down. I actually have a really nice piece of literature to throw down here some time, but not yet. I had a great talk with a good friend tonight that spurned the idea to bring it back to the blog... or at least some form of writing. I think some things are meant to be personal, but I think for anyone who knows me, this is the type of stuff they'd want to know so here it is..

So things really started off when the discussion headed towards the preciousness of conflict in any serious look at ones' beliefs. Anytime you can get anyone to ask questions about what they believe - anytime you can shake someone's foundation up to test the big ole house that's built on top of it - you actually open the door for something incredible to happen. See... I'm one to believe that our rationale is something that is very much a blessing from God. As such, when it can be awakened from the numbness of living in society, provided the right venues, it can lead us to very convicting truths. Conflict, or contradiction to one's beliefs cause them to actually take what they believe in seriously, instead of taking it for granted. People can become defensive or can feel personally insulted. These are good things because it means a chord has been struck about the nature of what they believe in and finally, they can step away from the menial distractions of our information filled age, and actually evaluate the things most important to them.

From there it went on to other things. I've been having a lot of thoughts lately on how difficult it must be for a loving God to look down at us and who is capable of giving us everything we'd ever need in our lives; yet... we sit here and squander the time, wanting nothing to do w/ what He has to give because we kinda... like to do the things we like to do. I imagine Him thinking... "C'mon... I created everything that is GOOD in this world! I can GUARENTEE you that even ONE hour with ME will be better than any show you can watch, game you can play, food you can eat for the next 3 YEARS of your life. TRUST ME." And we'll just say, "Well... I don't doubt that.. really, but you KNOW how much I LOVE this show, so... how bout you just let me watch it and have my peace about it."

So I was thinking... these nights I often stay up till 4 in the morning playing WoW or doing some other thing that... while thoroughly entertaining, is something of a craving that needs to be filled each night. Instead, I will disassemble the connecting parts of this computer and move it over to another part of my room, thus - no gaming machine for tonight. Then, I will give over that one hour that I've been thinking about a lot, and see kinda... where He might run with it.

Furthermore, I realise how much of an impact my own selfishness over my own time has caused my presence at home to be minimalised. I spend hours gaming instead of hours talking w/ my dad, or studying w/ my mom, or keeping up w/ my siblings. There are evenings when I come home looking forward to getting my gaming fix on instead of considering how lonely my grandparents feel EACH AND EVERY DAY. I do spite their methods sometimes of getting their way, but something inside me is telling me that ex communicating is meant not for tender situations like these. Love should be the answer, and I should spend less time getting my own fixes and more time visiting them, calling them. Likewise, I should go help my dad out at work on weekends starting in the morning instead of the afternoon. If there's one thing the man needs, it's knowing that his family will stand behind him while he works to keep this roof over our heads and the creature comforts of life in place.

The fact of the matter is, I think less of others when I look to fulfill my own needs first. My own needs can always be fulfilled, whether or not I am in the quiet, or in the busiest place in the world. That's the whole point of it. That's what evenings and mornings are for. See... I have at the very least an hour right now. And within that hour I am gambling with that very hour of my life that all the needs I have desperately needed to have filled will be filled, so that I can stop ignoring everyone around me, and actually love the kind of love that counts for longer than a day.

It's almost kind of sad to be typing this out. I think most people... if anyone who reads this wouldn't know even the beginning of the kinds of things that I battle each and every day, but I'm willing to let everyone know that they are there. Life isn't peachy, it was never meant to be that way. That's what makes it so damn good. I'm happy, I'm content =) There's no anger or bitterness, but there is a good deal of me being tired of "missing the point" day in and day out. So, I'm going to go find out what that is. =)

There was this perfect line from this Incubus song that sums up the general distaste I have towards the mindnumbing effect of "every day", but I can't remember it for the life of me :) so that'll probably be poster shortly hereafter =]

Anyhow, be seeing you all soon

ENGL160 readings...

" 'Belief's always right,' replied Durham, putting back the book. 'It's all right and it's also unmistakable. Every man has somewhere about him some belief for which he'd die. Only isn't it improbable that your parents and guardians told it to you? If there is one won't it be part of your own flesh and spirit? Show me that. Don't go hawking out tags like "The Redemption" or "The Trinity".' "

I'm currently taking an English course in the Spring term here at Queen's. This explains where I am for those of you who wonder why I'm not in Toronto. The course is built around the study of 20th century literature; hence its predominant focus lands on things of gender issues and the artificiality of caste systems.

This passage is from one of the books I've been reading and I found it rather interesting. The character posing the question is providing a challenge to the other to be real with their beliefs. I felt even though this conversation is isolated between these two characters and their respective belief systems, it proved very reminiscent of the things I observe today. How much do we simply believe what we're told without bringing these so-called "facts" into the light for ourselves? We're so saturated in information, so many people have "heard things" or "read somewhere" ideas or information that we ultimately internalise without even giving second thought to.

If there's anything this course has taught me so far, it would be this one thing: authors of various writings aren't bound to fact in order to get their ideas across. There is no longer the sacred trust between the writer and the reader. Likewise, secondary sources can be held with no more greater trust than that either. Welcome to the wonderful world of story-telling.

Special Guest Entry by Johnny Tran

Today my friends, you will be enlighted and delighted by the gyri of Johnny Wong (aka Tran). Tran, being Michael Chien's housemate and next-room neighbour, shares a special kind of intimacy with Michael, that no other person or woman (specificially the one whose Huntress was magically transformed into a sheep) can share. Today, we will discuss two instances in the past couple of days that have brought these two gentleman so much closer together...Perhaps too close and too tight like a zip loc air tight seal. How mighty refreshing those zip locs keep your fruit and vegetables! And how mighty refreshing Michael keeps the bosom of Tran!

Yesterday, as the two Asian boys read "A Life to Come" by E.M. Forster while huddled together to provide each other body warmth in the dark and cold rooms of 311, Mike experienced an epiphany in his life. The missionary, Paul Pinmay, had lay with Vithobai, a village chief. This paralleled with Michael's own life as he himself, was "laying" with Tran. This was the turning point in both the short story and Michael's life thus far, as night turned to evening, evening to day, and day to morning. The room in 311 was no longer dark and a new light shone through, as Michael soared to new heights in his self-actualization. No longer would he be susceptible to Tran's propositioning and bribes. Tran even proposed the two to "Come to Christ once more", but Michael refused. Tran would become increasingly frustrated and as a result, he pierced the heart of Michael, just as Michael had done to Tran for 10 long, misguided years filled with false hope.

(So perhaps this one instance did not bring them closer together, but it certainly made for a good story! A story in which none of you fools will ever understand, muahahahahhahahahaha.)

Today was a new day as the two boys embarked on another journey through the Chrysanthemum field (Yes, Michael was brought back to life after being stabbed by Tran). Michael was back to his old funny bloody self as he pranced through the Chrysanthemums with Tran. The author is lazy to develop this story at this point, so he's just going to stop now.

Drawing lines

Just finished watching another episode of Grey's Anatomy. I don't know what it is about the way some people write that just captures my thoughts so perfectly sometimes. Anyhow, a bit of perspective on how we all like to carve out space for ourselves:

"At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people
out, they fence you in. Life is messy, that's how we're made. So you can waste
your life drawing lines, or you can live your life crossing them...

Here's what I know; if you're willing to take the chance, the view from the other
side is spectacular."

We're irrevocably attached to the people in our lives, regardless of how much we love or despise them. And in spite of that, freedom is found by engaging these people, not by detaching ourselves from them.

Introductions Part II

I've been mulling over this post for too long now; three days to be exact. I can't quite seem to compile my thoughts at all. Regardless, I am commited to pressing onwards. For brevity's sake I'll just describe my thoughts with a question.

Ever feel like life is a movie that you've walked into some 40 minutes late?

You don't quite know what's happened that has brought the plotline up to this point, and quite frankly, you don't really feel like anything from here on in is going to make any more sense of the situation.

Anyhow, I look forward to providing an exposition into great pieces of writing in hopes that anyone reading this blog will be compelled to do some exploration for themselves. We live in a high paced information-driven society. Our culture has bred in us a very unique brand of superficiality that looks deep on the surface, but is ultimately formed by snapshots of information and never the whole picture. I implore each and every one of us to examine everything we read, hear and see. Anyone who knows me well enough will understand how deeply disturbed I am with people who say, "That's just what I heard," or, "I read it somewhere," without having truly tested those sources. It's like people are satisfied being misinformed about the things they believe.

So without further adieu, let's get to the good stuff =)

Introductory

I wanted to start by explaining the title to this blog. I for one believe that there is an innate craving in our lives that seeks to be fulfilled with stories. I believe there is much evidence to support that claim. Take for example the things we see on television. Something as basic as home renovation has taken on a completely new twist. What once was dominated by the likes of Bob Vila is now overrun with spunky, white hosts who seek to bring some deep spiritual purpose to their manual labour. It is no longer enough that we learn how to replace the wood flooring in our homes with the correct tools and tips; nay, we must search our souls to the innermost depths to excavate why exactly it is our loving, self-sacrificial parents deserve this home makeover. I think that this idea of placing characters and truly breathing life into something as previously extinct as home renovation shows is a super idea. Just look at how Trading Spaces, or While You Were Out can win our undivided attentions for hours on end. Not only do we see how a lifeless room is transformed from stale 18th century to modern "art-deco" 21st century, we see the lives of the people living there transformed as well.

Sometimes I feel sort of sorry for the guy in While You Were Out who comes home to a room that has undergone metamorphosis to become a metrosexual paradise. Sure it looks cool and all at first and he is most grateful to his wife no doubt, but you can tell that everytime he steps into the room from that day on, he gets the heebie jeebies. That is of course unless he actually does enjoy the large, clear flower vase in the corner that holds nothing but iridescent sea shells. Anyhow, I digress.

The point of this seemingly pointless blog is to state that we see the trends in pop culture. We see it in the movies that we like the most, we notice it in the books we read and the gossip we hear. Stories make up the very fabric of our lives. They are intricately woven into every breath we speak, every word we type. You learn so much more about a person's day when they blog the trivial goings-on of their day than when they simply tell you, "things are good". Stories shape us to become who we are.

And here's another fact. Each and every one of our stories are elaborately intertwined with others' stories - so much so that it would be impossible to explore all the ramifications of a single action one has taken towards another.

There is a reason why we are so in tune with stories. And it is epic in proportion.

So concludes part 1 of my explanation.

The purpose of this here arrangement...

The purpose of starting this blog up is to do something a little different. I find that though I may sometimes I stumble across thoughts on issues of life and faith, most of the true profundities arise from my various readings. As such, this blog is not to serve the purpose of journalling my daily grind, but rather to quote, comment and annotate pieces of literature that are undoubtedly shaping my own life. I think, for the most part, this blog will provide me an outlet for my innermost thoughts and intellectual battles.

Of course, having just said that, I do understand I run the risk of simply providing an in to a foray of abridged ideas and incomplete concepts. Such things really do provide little, if any insight on life. I've been exposed to situations where people chatter at each other for hours on end to no avail, spilling forth nothing but the most inane drivel in an attempt to define the significance of life (or even the lack thereof). When it comes down to it, we should all realise that everything about the human soul is hardwired to experience life not by the things we can argue with our finite intellects, but by the very things we cannot put to words.

So having said all of that, I think I stand exactly where I started. =) I think, as severely limited as my own personal thoughts may be, that they may possibly engage you, the readers, to ask some of the right questions that really begin the path towards seeking the truth for yourselves. For nothing in this universe can tell you how to live life. The most it can do is point you in the right direction.